Edge Lord

If you don't believe anything I write here, you're going to have a bad time. If you believe everything I write here, you're going to have a worse time than I did. ... Live the life of a thousand aphorisms. ... You can't own what you worship. (It owns you.) ... Strife is the law of life. You don't need to spend long seeking it out. Strife will find you. ... Listen, it is not necessary to pursue pleasure nor greatness nor wealth. It is sufficient to live a life dedicated to mindfully avoiding suffering. ... The Logos  is the word (stories, narratives, values in the form of the written and spoken word) that carved their way through time and death and war and famine and plague and generation. Seek it. Learn from it. Its other name is History.  ... God, they say, is omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent—all-knowing, all-present, all-powerful. Man, is omnivore— all-consuming. ... At the center of being is void. When the self tries t

There is a thought experiment that goes something like this: Try to imagine the best possible future. Then, try to live your life in a way so that future can come true. The highest good (that I can think of) is a collective human project in which we overcome death and suffering. We rescue the dead from death—past and future. If humans continue to pursue technology, we may eventually reach the point where we can overcome death. We may be able to reach the point where consciousness is no longer dependent upon a biological human body. If can we master time, matter, and biology, then, I suppose, future-people can harvest the consciouses, the souls, of people moments before they die. The metaphysics of time travel and the ontology of the human soul are beyond the scope of this post. However, the idea is that  it might be possible to go back in time and snatch souls before death ; that's the gist. What I have described here is the only form of universal salvation I can think of

An attractive young woman sat next to me in a coffee shop. Normally when this happens, I too-attentively look for an opening to initiate a conversation. I feel a deep sense of anxiety that a meaningful future will slip away if I don't at least try to talk. I am compulsive and neurotic in the presence of shiny things.  On a lovely hike? Better take a picture and try to keep the experience with me forever. The person next to me on the bus is reading an interesting book? Better interrupt them and figure out what they're reading and why. The coffee shop is playing good music? Better ask the barista for the name of the artist. Not today. I’m happy that girl was there, right where she was, as she was. I didn’t want anything from her. I didn't want to steal a look from her. I wasn't worried about letting her slip away. Whoever she was, she seemed like a lovely person, and I was happy that such a person existed, and I was happy that she was there at the cafe s

An email to two close friends. Guys, I think that all I want right now is to be left alone in peace. That’s the attitude I’m feeling right now. I want to be left alone. I don’t want to strive for anything. I don’t want to want anything. I just want peace. I don’t want to bring peace to the world. I don’t have anything to offer the world. I asked Life and circumstance to make me useful, and I received a silent “no thanks.” Maybe I should have put more effort into making myself more valuable. But whatever. What do I have to offer? If Life (or “the human species” or the Gaia-like total sum of all living organisms or the-universe-as-God’s-mind) needs something, then it is more capable of doing what needs to be done. I thought I might live a meaningful life through exercising my Will to Power. But I’m not sure how to Will myself to Power. Power flows through metal wires, and it flows through social webs. The best I could do is aim to be a good conductor, gold in character, lest I get burned

Is my suffering nothing more than the product of my rebellion against my own character? Why do I strain?  What god do I unwittingly, yet piously, worship with my struggling?  What prayer am I saying that is contorting my being into unnatural forms? Damn strife.  Let me live in peace. I worried about what my Life calling was. Let  Life  worry about its own ends.  I am a miserable speck on this planet; if life needs something of me, then it will drag it out of me.  Just let me be. Let me live in tranquility. Extinguish the flame. Let me have peace. Let me rest easy. Let me eat modestly and comfortably. What good did my suffering ever do? At best, I helped bring meaningless order to a tiny corner of the world, and at worst, I left a gentle wake of chaos, one that Life would hardly notice.  Let me live and then die without suffering. Don't force me to me pine for the unachievable. Let me sleep at a reasonable time. Let me wake up at a r

This is a test post, not an introduction. There is a lot to learn about this form. Form is important. Form is the conduit of power and information. A blog is a form. ... Mind the crows. Be kind to them. They're often cheerful and always clever. ... A voice says to learn the silence of a screech owl. I'm trying to figure out what that means.