Fragments from Paper 1
Found in a sketchbook, written in December 2018
...
Layers of paradigm:
Science (method, not body of knowledge) > Logic > Language & Grammar > Image & Symbol > Sensation & Intuition > Drive & Instinct
....
I, for no good reason thought that, if I dug deeper, I would find the source-of-meaning-and-creation. But under the surface—below, as far as I could go—I found nothing. It was void. But, before I touched the void (falling into it), I found madness. Below the surface—below the appearance of things—nothing corresponded to my conception of order.
The underworld [the depths of the psyche] abides by principles that will never agree with that which exists in consciousness.
Waking life [our conscious experience] is the fruit of a garden named will. But who is the gardener?
..
I followed a path. And I don't know why I chose it. It promised me knowledge—knowledge hidden in plain sight. It said "The path is treacherous but worthwhile." It promised something real.
But I was a fool on a fool's errand. I had only been tricked into finding myself. "The journey was the treasure," I was told. But the treasure what not worth the price that I paid: time and care. I spent time and care pursuing an image, a vision, and with every minute and every penny I spent pursuing that vision, I became more hollow.
...
I don't imagine everyone is haunted by ghosts like I am. But I know I am not the only one. When I go about my daily business, I see them. And, when they notice that i see them, I have to fight them off. They most often take the form of envy and despair. And they exist in the world—independent of any real substance. I don't know how they stay rooted in the world, but I see them often.
...
Layers of paradigm:
Science (method, not body of knowledge) > Logic > Language & Grammar > Image & Symbol > Sensation & Intuition > Drive & Instinct
....
I, for no good reason thought that, if I dug deeper, I would find the source-of-meaning-and-creation. But under the surface—below, as far as I could go—I found nothing. It was void. But, before I touched the void (falling into it), I found madness. Below the surface—below the appearance of things—nothing corresponded to my conception of order.
The underworld [the depths of the psyche] abides by principles that will never agree with that which exists in consciousness.
Waking life [our conscious experience] is the fruit of a garden named will. But who is the gardener?
..
I followed a path. And I don't know why I chose it. It promised me knowledge—knowledge hidden in plain sight. It said "The path is treacherous but worthwhile." It promised something real.
But I was a fool on a fool's errand. I had only been tricked into finding myself. "The journey was the treasure," I was told. But the treasure what not worth the price that I paid: time and care. I spent time and care pursuing an image, a vision, and with every minute and every penny I spent pursuing that vision, I became more hollow.
...
I don't imagine everyone is haunted by ghosts like I am. But I know I am not the only one. When I go about my daily business, I see them. And, when they notice that i see them, I have to fight them off. They most often take the form of envy and despair. And they exist in the world—independent of any real substance. I don't know how they stay rooted in the world, but I see them often.
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